Coffee in Your Veins

Hail, java junkies, and welcome to the fabulous OH-MY-GOD-IT’S-SPRING edition of D Squared Java’s FunTime GoodBlog! We have a lot to discuss today, so you better keep at least one eye open. Our first order of business is the food-drive round up. Throughout the month of March the team at D Squared Java led the way in collecting non-perishable foods and other essential goods for local food banks Feed My Lambs and St. Vincent de Paul, as well as the New Hampshire Food Bank. We began the initiative when we learned that after the inundation of donations around the holidays, these food banks find themselves with a dearth of goods at this time of the year. We operated under the banner of ‘Spring It On!’ and the folks at Historic Exeter Retail Owners’ Network (HERON) helped get over a dozen local businesses on board. In the end we collected over 500 necessary items, and awarded a gift basket valuing over $300 to one lucky giver via a raffle system. The items in the basket were donated by shops all across downtown Exeter. So thank you everyone! We plan to make the March food drive an annual tradition!

In the coming months we will be unfolding our new and improved summer menu. Now, most dedicated baristas love winter for the opportunities we get to craft so many different hot beverages. Every cappuccino and latte is another opportunity to hone our latte art skills, and the creation of a pour-over coffee is a rewarding and challenging experience. But when the mercury begins to seriously rise, it becomes time for us to pack up these skills, as they will be scantly used in the coming months, and begin figuring out how to make mind-blowing cold beverages.

Of course, we must begin with the coffee. We offer the freshest and most naturally delicious coffee in the area (if not the state!) by brewing our iced coffee to order, using only the finest beans and cleanest water. We use a drip brewer called Clever, and each coffee brewed over ice with the Clever yields a unique and tasty flavor profile that showcases the origins of the bean. If that were all that we did, D Squared Java would be OK, but now we don’t think that’s enough. That’s why we’re introducing a product so new and fresh that we may be the only place north of New York City to serve it: cold-brewed coffee on nitro tap! Keep an eye out for it in the coming weeks, and ask us lots of questions about it: our staff is literally ecstatic to talk about it.

The team at D Squared Java is also reintroducing a few summer favorites, including the only house-squeezed lemonade in the area, as well as a few signature iced teas. Jamaica (pronounced ha-MY-kah) iced tea is composed of crushed dried lime from Oman, rounded out with hibiscus and orange peel. Sweetened with organic cane sugar, this herbal tea is refreshing on its own or mixed with our lemonade for a naturally delicious Arnold Palmer.

We are proud to unveil our seasonal flavor shot concoction: lavender honey! This feisty syrup tastes like Spring in a cup. Water and lavender flowers are steeped until the delicate floral flavor is extracted, at which point the flowers are strained out and New Hampshire Honey is mixed in. This syrup is an acquired taste for some; the floral notes of lavender are prominent. But for those who like these flavors, this syrup is a fun way to Spring up any latte or a chai.

For those of you who are acclimated to the world of D Squared Java, you know that the owner of this establishment is a viscous tyrant who won’t stop until the entire world of coffee is his. It is to this end that we humble and enslaved bloggers of D Squared Java are now introducing a new blog segment, the first of many to come. Dan calls it the drink of the month, but we bloggers are happy to escape another beating and don’t care what it’s called.

Our drink of the month is brought to you by James, who picks the Cortado. For the unaware, a Cortado is a four-ounce beverage, essentially comprised of an espresso with an equal proportion of steamed and foamed milk, served just a notch above lukewarm. It is meant to be enjoyed quickly, and the small volume of milk ensures the Cortado has a strong espresso flavor. As James says, “I’ve really been digging it lately. You can really taste the graham cracker note in the espresso.”

Keep an eye out for print editions of D Squared Java’s FunTime GoodBlog to be circulated throughout the vast terrain of retail space loc ated at 155 Water Street, Exeter, New Hampshire.

Yours in servitude to the bean,

Jebediah Creed

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Kids Without Coffee

We interrupt our regularly scheduled Blogcast with an important announcement. Beginning Tuesday, April 1st, D Squared Java will cease all coffee-brewing operations in support of Kids Without Coffee (KWC), a New York City-based nonprofit founded by former mayor Michael Bloomberg that seeks to wean American children off of unhealthy soft drinks and onto antioxidant-rich coffee. “We’re seeing a moderate decrease in the rate at which children consume sodas like Pepsi,” a statement from Mr. Bloomberg’s publicist reads, “but the decline is not precipitous enough. To accelerate the process, we are initiating a nationwide effort to replace sugar-loaded sodas with heart-healthy black coffee.”

Already a number of national coffee brands have partnered with KWC to bring a new level of national awareness to the plight of coffee-less children, who must content themselves with sugar-laden soft drinks. Participating coffee retailers include industry giants Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts, as well as more gourmet brands including Blue Bottle, Counter Culture, Intelligentsia and Stumptown, all of whom have operations in New York City.

For the month of April, coffee retailers large and small are participating in the Empty Cup Coffee Drive, which involves serving empty cups of coffee to customers. At the forefront of this charge is D Squared Java. “We’re really seeing a dearth of customers under the age of 12,” says D Squared Java owner Dan Demers. “Of course we don’t sell soda. Coffee is way better than soda. I mean, come on. But why do people only seem to realize this when they become teenagers? Something is definitely wrong here.”

All proceeds from the sale of empty cups will be donated to programs founded by KWC to better connect children with coffee-consuming opportunities. Customers will still come to cafes like D Squared Java for their daily cappuccino or pour-over, but after payment they will instead receive an empty cup with a fact related to KWC’s mission printed along the inside. Sample facts include:

  • Only 4% of people under the age of 12 list coffee as one of the reasons to get out of bed in the morning.
  • Soda contains ∞% more sugar than black coffee and doesn’t taste nearly as good.
  • When asked which product provides more energy, 87% of respondents in first grade said they thought soda was the better pick-me-up, which is not only ill-informed but also just plain stupid.
  • Soda contains a mere pittance of caffeine, a well-known energy booster. While a can of soda may contain as little as 35mg of caffeine, a cup of drip coffee contains upwards of 200mg.

So please come to D Squared Java and help support the cause of KWC. The road will be long and fraught with peril, but we believe that we can wrest children’s dependence on Big Soda once and for all. Also, during the Empty Cup Coffee Drive, all children will receive an espresso and a puppy, free of charge.

Yours in Untimely Revolution,

Aesop Comb

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